


Phoenix

by AllTrekkedUp



Category: Martin and Lewis
Genre: Anger, Break Up, Drinking, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Gen, Heartache, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-13
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:33:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21782242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllTrekkedUp/pseuds/AllTrekkedUp
Summary: Set after the split.  This story will deal with how the boys rise to stardom in their own right and will end up at their reunion.
Relationships: Dean Martin/Other(s), Jerry Lewis/Dean Martin, Jerry Lewis/Patti Lewis
Comments: 18
Kudos: 10





	1. New

Maybe this is a mistake. He paces back and forth, on his forth cigarette in too short of a time, too soon, he can't do this. He's been avoiding the stage, too many memories, too much everything, he can't do this. He pauses to wipe sweat from his forehead, Frank says it's time he started singing again, acting is fine but he is a singer and he should be singing. Frank made it sound simple, maybe it was, but it sure didn't seem like it, while Frank had been in a group before in his younger years Frank had never had a Jerry.

Jerry. Even the name made him flinch. He felt so much about, for, and against his former partner, the angry sting was wearing off however and sadness was replacing it. He was beginning to wonder about his fate, he wasn't doing so well on his own so far, maybe everyone was right- maybe he would end up just going back home. God no, he couldn't do that. He would drown in a bottle before he went back there. He ran a hand through his hair and plopped down in the chair in front of his make up table.

"Ten minutes, Mr. Martin," came a feminine voice after a chaste knock on his dressroom door.

"Shit," he muttered to himself. Looking in the mirror he saw the same face he saw every morning when he shaved, but only for a moment, closing his eyes he saw Jerry, doing a skit they had done on the Colgate Comedy Hour. They were shaving in it, Jerry was his mirror, doing as he did, until shaving cream started flying back and forth and they both broke out laughing. He blinked his eyes open, damn, he didn't think this would bring up all those old memories. He got up and straightened his tie, looking again in the mirror, just who would he be when he walked out on that stage? No longer the Martin to the Lewis, who was Dean Martin anyway? 

Stepping out the door it felt more like eagles than butterflies in his stomach as he walked towards the stage. He took a deep breath, letting it out he realized that he could start new, he could find out who he was on stage when he got out there. Perhaps just plain ole Dean Martin had a chance, and if not, well, he would have one hell of a time trying.

"And now ladies and gentlemen- Mr. Dean Martin!" 

Hearing his introduction he took the few strides out into those bright lights to see just exactly what he was made of.


	2. Lonely

Kissing her felt like home, like a place you had always wanted but never knew. They were like a slow morning, the steadily rising sun outside of the window and cold floor beneath his feet. Each kiss warmed his heart like hot coffee on a cold night, and yet froze it like an icy pole on a summer's day. Kissing her reminded him of better times, of great times and of the best times. They made him feel safe, secured, loved.

And her hugs were just the same.

But she was not Dean.

Jerry lay beside his wife in bed, still awake after making love to her. Patti had fallen asleep some thirty minutes ago, it was night's like this that he thought of Dean more than anything, it wasn't another woman he envisioned when he was in bed with his wife, it was Dean. Oh how he would love to be laying next to his old partner right now, he loved Patti, he would do just about anything for her, but Dean was genuinely apart of his soul, that part was fractured and throbbing and searching for something to fill that empty void. He missed their closeness, God what happened? He lay there staring up at the ceiling, wondering if Dean ever did the same, think about him the way Jerry did. 

"You're just a fucking dollar sign to me!"

Jerry closed his eyes and swallowed, he shifted onto his side facing away from Patti and felt the familiar warmth of tears spill from his eyes down his face. He hated remembering those words, a year and it still hurt just like it had been said that afternoon. He took a ragged breath, why did love have to hurt so much? And still and all he loved Dean, he always would, he hoped this longing, nawing emptiness would at some point subside. This sense of loss, that was what it was, he had lost Dean and he was lost without him, not so much in his work, he could make a movie, or be writing and not a think about anything else, but at the end of the day it all came rushing back afresh. The loneliness was so hard to bear, lonely even now, with Patti right there, he felt like he had been wandering around in the dark for a year, he needed to see light again, to feel alive again.

Patti broke into his cry and thoughts as she rolled over and wrapped herself around him, cuddling to him for warmth. He nestled back against her, she was so wonderful and beautiful and loving- but she was not Dean.


End file.
